Ephesians 6:1-4 God’s Plan for Raising Children

Ephesians 6:1-4     God’s Plan for Raising Children

• Background
• The Greek word for children is ‘TEKNON’ which means offspring living at home.
• In the Jewish culture, children were often mistreated and scorned.   
• In the Roman culture, unwanted children were left in the Forum.  A father would determine if a newborn child should live or not.   If the newborn was to live, the father would hold out his arms.   If the father turned his back on the newborn, the child would be put to death.
• Main Theme.
• What does it mean to obey?
• To honor and respect.
• Obeying requires an action while honoring involves an attitude.
• To obey your parents is a Commandment from God which is right and which also has a promise as well.   (I Timothy 5:4)

• Examples of Children who did not obey his parents.

• Samson and Absalom..
• In the Old Testament children could be put to death if they disobeyed their parents.  In the New Testament a promise is to live longer by taking God’s advice.
• Picking your friends wisely and walking safely in life.
• Fathers are asked by Paul to not provoke their children.
• The father tends to neglect their children more than the mother.  They also tend to be harsher as well.  At times a father will not use his role as headship of the household or the leader of worship.
• Raising Children.
• Raising a child can be compared to becoming a soldier.  It requires training and preparation to do battle in life.  It requires discipline to be properly trained.   This training includes Basic Training which begins at home where the child learns to obey and the parent-child relationship as well as the master- servant relationship.
• Children are a gift from God and we should consider it privilege to claiming a child of God.   Children are to be considered Holy as well.   Children submit to their parents just as a servant obeys his master.  .
• Children are to be brought up in the discipline and instruction of the LORD.
• A Child is not a vent of a parent’s bad disposition.
• Children need to be trained for life by the parents.   (Proverbs 13:24, Proverbs 23:13, Proverbs 29:15)
• Children need to be raised in a saving knowledge of Christ.    
• Overview.
• Paul’s mention of acknowledging children was a revolutionary concept.   Paul’s letter was an indication of how the Christian faith began to impact the Roman society.
• Verse 6:1-3   A Commandment with a Promise.
• Paul teaches that since Jesus lifted up children and loved them, children need to be obedient and respect their parents.  Paul was not teaching that children should expect to be spoiled and coddled.   Paul is instructing that children should obey because it is right in God’s eyes and not because you feel like it, or to agree with your parent’s, or because the parent’s demands seem right.
• Children are expected to honor their parents.   This also involves when they become an adult.   They should use their parents as a point of reference and not be required to be in total submission.   They should care for their parents out of respect, not because of a sense of guilt.
• Children need to learn to obey their parents so they can obey the LORD as they grow older.   It is easier to respond to the parents and then next respond to God’s submission of authority.   Responding in a positive manner to parents will likely lead to a positive response to GOD’s direction.
• Remember - Our children do not belong to us but they belong to GOD.   God instructs us to nurture and train our children.   Parents are stewards, not owners of their children.
• To obey and honor your parents means to highly value them, show them esteem, and to show respect.   It is also one of the 10 commandments as well.
• GOD gives us a promise and a blessing if we obey and honor our parents.
• In the Old Testament this included living in the Promised Land.   In the New Testament there is no limit to the blessings.
• Verse 6:4   A Commandment to the Parents.
• Sometimes the word ‘father’ was used for the Greek word for ‘Parent’.
• Parents make a difference in their children by the way they raise and train them.
• Instruction, discipline, and motivation
• This develops character, intellect, healthy emotions, strong values, and personality.
• Life is a spiritual battle so we need to train and prepare our children.
• How to handle money, peer pressure, drugs, alcohol, and how to succeed in school or a career.   If they are not trained they are wide open to Satan's attack.
• Parents are instructed to not provoke and exasperate their children.
• Give your children gradually increasing responsibilities.   Give them the freedom to fail and teach them there are consequences for poor decisions.
• Avoid favoritism.   Privileges and responsibilities should be based upon age and the ability of the child.
• Isaac and Rebekah favored a different child.  Jacob who was favored by Rebekah as a child, showed favoritism to his son Joseph.
• Do not push your children into areas where they lack aptitude and abilities.   Find out which direction your child is naturally inclined and cheer them in that direction.
• Do not remind your children of their limitations or failures.   Focus on things they excel in.   Affirm their talents and strengths.   Remind them GOD gives different gifts and abilities to each person.
• Never suggest your children are a burden or nuisance.   Always remind them they are a gift from GOD.
• Do not remind your children of how good they have it now compared with how life was in your day.   Each generation has its own burdens to bear with.
• Do not punish your children by withholding love.   By giving your children the silent treatment indicates to them that they are not loved.
• The most important word in parenting is balance.
• Over praising and over empowerment develops a sense of entitlement which leads to a child becoming spoiled.
• Under affirming and under empowerment lead to an insecure child and a lack of confidence.
• Conclusion.
• Children will paint an image of their parents as either ‘Super Hero’ or ‘Super Geek’.
• What is our relationship with our parents?   Do we still honor and respect them?
• If you have been disrespected by your parents, say to them, ‘I want to obey GOD and show you the respect you are due and I want to honor you as well.   As an adult I do not have to obey you but in the same respect I am asked to obey the Word of GOD.   I ask you for my forgiveness’.
• Show respect to your parents even if they are disrespectful.   You will show them honor even if you do not receive honor in return.  GOD will honor you in return and pour his blessings upon your life.
• As parents, we plant trees of character, good habits, wisdom, and spiritual strength to give our children a cooling shade in the tree in the years to come.  This tree needs to be watered by the Word of GOD.
• Children will remember you when you are gone and thank you for raising them in discipline and instruction of the LORD if we raise them in a good balance. 

Ephesians 5:21-33 God’s Plan for Marriage

Ephesians 5:21-33     God’s Plan for Marriage

• Main Theme.
• Ephesians 5 and 6 deal with relationships for life
• Submission
• Paul is writing about mutual submission in which we submit to one another in the fear of God.

• To submit to one another requires us to be filled with the Holy Spirit.

• When a person is filled with the Holy Spirit they are humble, gentle, and are submitting.
• What does the ‘Fear of God’ mean?
• Living our life realizing that we live under the watchful eye of God.
• We live a life in a respect for God, a reverential awe.
• We live our life to make God happy and to please him.
• We bring joy and happiness to God.
• We seek direction and guidance from God.
• The worldview of ‘Fear’ has a negative meaning.  This is not the context of how Paul uses the word ‘Fear’.   The ‘Fear of God’ is what helps us to submit to others.
• Paul is writing about a biblical submission, not a submission that the world uses.  The world’s view of submission has a negative connotation.
• The current culture has a view of permissiveness and personal freedom.   This includes the thinking that ‘Some laws apply to me and some do not’ and ‘I do not need to be told how to live my life’.
• Submission is a role for everyone.
• Submission comes from the Greek word hupotasso.
• Hupo - means under
• Tasso - means to rank, to arrange
• Hupotasso is used 47 times in the New Testament.
• How is submission practiced?
• Submission is mutual in a relationship.   (Luke 10:17, Romans 8:20, Romans 13:1, I Corinthians 16:16, I Corinthians 15:27-28)
• The greatest act of submission is to die for someone.
• By being a servant hearted doer of the Word of God.
• Marriage - Mutuality in a submission relationship (I Corinthians 7:1-16)
• By keeping the traditions and examples set by Jesus. (I Corinthians 11:1-2)
• Submission in the roles of husband and wife.   Neither person is greater than the other person.  Function instead of superiority.
• Problems can be solved by submission.
• Christ became obedient to the Father, which eventually led to his death on a cross.   (Philippians 2:5-11)
• The key to submission is humility, placing others before yourself.
• Submission keeps things running right in a relationship.
• What submission is not:
• Slavery, superiority, tyranny, or treating someone in a mean way.  Instead it is a functionality and understanding the roles set forth in I Corinthians 11 (Tiers of Submission).  The Goal of submitting is to ‘Glorify God’.
• Overview.
• Verse 2 is a transitional verse, with the remaining verses being examples of submission.
• Paul’s Instruction for Wives.
• Paul asks wives to submit to their husbands.  He uses 3 verses to these instructions.   Paul is saying it is an honor to Jesus, an act of service to the LORD.  Submission requires an inspiring respect and Godly conduct.   (I Peter 3:1-6)
• Paul’s instructions to the Husbands.
• Paul instructs the husbands to love their wives.  Paul uses 9 verses to give these instructions.  A husband submits to his wife by loving her.   Paul repeats his command to ‘love your wife’ two times, which are in verses 25 and 28.  The love Paul uses here is ‘Agape’, which is unconditional love, the same love God’ has for us.
• The Greek word for “Husband” translates to ‘till the ground, till the soil’.   The husband’s role is to cultivate his wife and to nurture her.
• Paul is asking husbands not to rule over their wives.  Paul is asking for a balance of leader and lover, a balance between authority and affection.  Paul qualifies this by saying that love is to be met in the love of Christ.
• To love sacrificially - Jesus was spat upon, ridiculed, beaten, and gave his life on a cross.
• To love with sanctification - The attitude that Jesus loves me after I came to him so Jesus can help me grow.  ‘Let me help you, let me take you’.  This type of love requires quality time and priority in our lives.
• A secure love - An extension of me, to help your wife feel secure.   Just as a man may like his own body, to look and feel good, a husband needs to make the wife feel as if she is an extension of himself.
• A stable love - (Genesis 2:24) Like a fine art, making it last a life time.  Like dating, the great hunt and I got the prize of the hunt.   Severing your relationship with your parents to join in a relationship to become one flesh with your wife.
• Marriage
• Marriage is compared to a picture - as Christ is to the Church (his bride).
• Marriage is a symbol of Love.   
• Satan’s goal is to destroy this love relationship of a marriage and also to destroy the family.
• Casual sex, homosexuality, infidelity, self-righteous judgment, pornography, plastic surgery.
• Satan’s lie - Christian marriage is a hot bed of hypocrisy and infidelity.   Hollywood’s goal is to portray militant feminism, rampant immorality, and serial divorce.
• Satan’s lie - A Christian marriage is oppressive and that God’s blueprint for a marriage is oppressive towards a woman.
• Comments by militant feminist Susan Brownmiller - ‘Marriage is an outgrowth of primitive caveman cruelty.   Woman chose one rapist as a husband to protect herself from other rapists’.
• Satan’s lie - It is oppressive to a woman that God’s design for a husband to lovingly exercise spiritual leadership and for the wife to faithfully affirm him on that leadership.
• When marriage is rejected and leads to divorce, it leads to emotionally scarred children and it also leads to a social collapse.
• A recent survey taken of convicted men in prison that looks at the percentages of those who came from a fatherless home.
• 70% of the long time inmates.
• 72% of the adolescent murderers.
• 60% of the convicted rapists.
• Truth - The covenant of marriage is a powerful preventative of rape.
• Verse 5:21-24   Liberating not Oppressive.
• Jesus himself states the equality and liberation of woman.  Jesus treated woman with respect and he also elevated their status.   (Matthew 9 and 26, Mark 14, Luke 7, John 4 and 8, Galatians 3:28)
• Verse 21 equalizes both man and woman before God.
• When Paul wrote this letter, there were 3 distinct cultures during this time: Roman, Greek, and Jewish.   All 3 taught that women were regulated to 2nd class and to be subservient.
• Typical Jewish prayer - ‘Thankful that I am a Jew and not a Greek, I am free and not a slave, I am a man and not a woman’.
• Greek Culture - Keep out of sight in total obedience to the husband, ‘See as little as possible, hear as little as possible, and ask as little as possible’.
• Roman Culture - A woman had no rights and was considered the equivalent of a child.
• Paul’s message was radical to the Jews, that men and woman should submit to one another in reverence to Jesus Christ.   
• Men and women each have a unique role, each submits to each other, neither one is superior to the other.
• Verse 5:25-33.
• Mutual Submission.
• We need to be constantly filled by the Holy Spirit and read God’s word to live God’s blueprint for a marriage.   We must submit to the Holy Spirit to be able to submit in marriage as our human flesh struggles with the Holy Spirit when it comes to mutual forgiveness, mutual submission, and mutual sacrifice.
• Paul is not asking wives to ‘knuckle down’ and become ‘doormats’ to their husbands.   Christian marriage is a partnership with each partner having a different role.   The wife’s role is submission where the husband’s role is leadership, which is linked together.  Each is based upon the picture and relationship between Jesus Christ and the Church.   Just as Christ is the head of the Church, the Church submits to Christ.  Christ exercised his leadership by serving, sacrificing, and putting his Church ahead of his own interests by dying for his Church.   What wife would not be willing to submit to a husband who was Christ-like?
• Christian marriage is a mutual love, it is not a power struggle.  Failure occurs when the husband refuses to lead like the love of Christ or the wife does not submit as unto the LORD, or both.  God’s plan for marriage elevates and enables the roles of both men and woman.  (Depicting the unique love relationship between Christ and his bride, the Church).
• The Power of Love.
• Submitting by love (the husband’s role) is more challenging than submitting by following (the wife’s role).  Notice how Paul uses more words and verses for the men compared to the women.  It is possible you can submit without loving but it is impossible to love without submitting.
• Loving someone involves placing your beloved needs and welfare above your own.  It also involves placing others desires and comforts before your own.
• Paul repeats these principles 3 times.
• What did Christ do for his bride?   He left the glory of heaven.  He came to a world where many hated him.   He allowed the world to crucify him.   Finally Jesus saved and redeemed his bride, the church, by his death.
• Love does not stand idly by when the beloved suffers harm.
• Love is not passive when the beloved is in danger.
• Love never entices or coerces the beloved to do anything wrong or sinful.   Paul is suggesting ‘submit in every good thing’ just as Jesus would command us to not sin.
• Lies, stealing, cheating, etc.
• Every person has a duty to obey God.
• Paul asks husbands to sanctify their wives as Christ sanctifies the Church/Bride.
• God’s Blueprint for a Joyous Marriage.
• Christian marriage is based upon mutual submission.
• The essence of Jesus’s work on earth was submission.   Submission does not take away our worth or equality.   Submission does enable beautiful things to happen in our lives.
• A wife's submission is a submission of love, not oppression by a boss.  
• A husband’s headship is a matter of serving and not lording.  It is to be a servant and not a tyrant, keeping in mind Jesus’s love for his church.
• A husband’s love is demonstrated in action.  Love is not a feeling but is demonstrated by actions.  Giving, sanctifying, and to cleanse and wash her, and to make her holy before God.  To also nourish and cherish her as well.
• A wife’s submission is nothing but a natural and rational response to a husband’s extravagant, selfless, and self-sacrificing love.   It is not in fear.  A wife responds by lifting him up, encouraging and respecting him, and not to beat him down.
• We the church are Christ’s bride.   We need to look at Christ’s relationship to his church.  Once we understand that relationship we can find Joy in our marriage when we put it into action.   We need to lose ourselves and to submit to Christ.
• Submission is at the essence of a Christian life.  It is the ultimate for contentment and joy.   Trusting without fear, serving without reservation, and loving with the selfless love of Christ himself.
• Conclusion.
• If Jesus could submit to God the Father to die on a cross, how can we not submit our lives to Jesus and others?
• What areas in my life am I dragging gears in submission?
• Can you go to a fellow brother and say ‘I love you’?      (Agape Love)
• The criminal populations tend to come from fatherless/broken homes.  How much could crime be slashed if families stabilized and were built upon biblical foundation of marriage?
• We as Christians should take a stand and not be ashamed of the Gospel.   We should not be intimidated by the deceptions of Satan and compromise to the ways of the culture.
• Do we turn to other books because we do not like God’s design for marriage which is given to us in Ephesians 5?

Ephesians 5:18-20 Spiritual Intoxication

Ephesians 5:18-20     Spiritual Intoxication

• Main Theme.
• How to tell if someone is walking a Christian walk and living a spiritual life.
• They display a walk worthy of the calling of Jesus Christ.
• They display love in their daily living.
• The walk as Children of the Light and not of darkness.
• Their Christian life is a walk of a wise person, not as a fool.   (Proverbs 13:20)
• Stepping stones for walking in fellowship.

• Submitting to one another in the fear of God.
• Not losing interest in one another.  Your interest is kept up when you share the same interests.   As fellow Christians we all share the same interest.
• We all need fellowship with one another.  We should not be isolated but gather together often.
• Paul instructs us to be walking in the light and knowledge of God.   (I John 5:1-12, I John 1:5-10).
• Light is brilliant, it reveals, and light intimidates.   (Proverbs 4:18-19)
• The Creation Story (Genesis 1:3-5).
• God’s covenant to Abraham (Genesis 15:10-18).
• God guiding the Moses and the Israelites through the desert (Exodus 13:21).
• God will be our light in the New Jerusalem (Revelation 21:22-25).
• God is an unapproachable light (I Timothy 6:11-16).
• Our lives should be growing and shining brighter by exposing sin.
• 3 things it takes to be walking in the Light.
• Our goal in life should be to please God in his glory.   Life is about God and it should be centered around God as well.  We need to be reading God’s word to learn what God likes and dislikes.   By reading the bible we will learn about what the nature of God is and what is contrary to his nature.
• To live our lives in purity, moral character, and in integrity.  We need to refuse to be living a hidden life and come out of the shadows of darkness.
• We should live our lives as if God hears and sees everything we do.
• Paul warns about not having fellowship with those who live a life of darkness.
• Being cautious of churches who profess to be “seeker friendly”.   Typically these type of churches try not to offend the “seeker” with the true Bible message by appealing to their ears and not the Truth.
• We should feel comfortable among God’s people if we are walking in the light.
• Since Jesus was the light of the world, he revealed the truth about the religious leaders at that time to his Apostles.  The Pharisees and Scribes were considered the religious elite at that time.   There was a great reverence for the Scribes and Pharisees among the Jews.   (Matthew 23:13-33).
• Paul warns us to live as the wise instead of as the fool.   (Psalm 14:1, Psalm 53:1)
• Place our steps in life carefully because of the darkness that does exist.
• You can have a high IQ and be considered a fool as well as having a low IQ and be wise.   Wisdom comes from how you apply God’s word in your life.   Understanding the will of God also comes from knowing God’s word and applying it.
• Paul compares drunk in wine to being full of the Spirit.
• Both involve being controlled by the substance.
• How do you tell if a person is controlled by the Spirit?
• Compare this to finding out how a glass is full of water.  You can bump into it and see what comes out.
• To be drunk with the Holy Spirit means our life would be characterized by psalms, hymns, spiritual songs, and prayers of thanksgiving.
• Overview.
• Verse 5:18-20
• The Depressant versus the Stimulant.
• The lie of alcoholism is that a person cannot live without a drink.  The truth is God can give you victory over alcoholism.
• Alcohol can depress you but the Holy Spirit can make you feel elated.
• Alcohol can destroy your life where the Holy Spirit can strengthen your heart.
• Alcohol can cost you a fortune but the Holy Spirit can bring you blessings.
• Alcohol can multiply your pain where the Holy Spirit can heal your pain.
• Alcohol can deceive you into a false happiness where the Holy Spirit can bring you true joy.
• In the early times drunkenness was closely associated with idol worship.   The pagan world seeked fulfillment through drunkenness and sexual immorality.
• Alcohol is a depressant where the Holy Spirit is a stimulant to good judgment.   Drunkenness numbs judgments made by the brain where the Holy Spirit gives discernment, good judgment, and a balanced thinking.
• How to be filled by the Holy Spirit.
• The fullness of the Holy Spirit is not:

• Getting zapped and becoming a 1st Class Christian..
• To be filled by the Holy Spirit does not mean the same as being indwelled by the Holy Spirit (Romans 8:9).
• To be filled by the Holy Spirit is not the same as being baptized by the Holy Spirit.   We become baptized when we became a Christian.   The Holy Spirit continues to dwell inside of you whether you quench the Holy Spirit or grieve the Holy Spirit.
• Being filled by the Holy Spirit is not the same as being sealed.   We are sealed by the Holy Spirit again at the moment of our conversion.
• The filling of the Holy Spirit is not getting the Holy Spirit in installments.   We receive the complete Holy Spirit at our time of conversion.
• Paul gives the command to ‘be filled by the Holy Spirit’.   It is not a recommendation.
• To fulfill God’s will for our life we need to be filled by the Holy Spirit to obey the word of God.   We will also continually serve God after being filled.   To fight temptation we also need to be filled as well.
• To be able to submit to one another   (Philippians 2:1-5).
• To be filled means to be totally under control of the Holy Spirit.   Our human nature causes us to fail and sin no matter how sincere we are of our intentions to please God.   We can renew our commitment to be filled with the Holy Spirit.   We need to continuously surrender our life to the Holy Spirit.   When we fall prey to sin or when we are tempted, we can turn in prayer to God and submit ourselves to the Holy Spirit’s control.
• Our strength in a relationship with the Holy Spirit can be likened to the strength of a relationship in a marriage.   It is not what happened in the past or what will happen in the future that matters, it is what happens in the present.
• A person is moved, permeated, and immersed along by what fills him.
• Filled - to be totally dominated and controlled by the Spirit.
• Being conscious of Jesus’s presence at every moment.
• We include Jesus in every action we take and every decision we make.
• The Evidence of the Filling.
• Being filled with praise and thanksgiving.
• Paul mentions we should sing songs and offer Psalms together.   This includes not focusing on the technical aspects of the music as God wants to hear our sincere praise and God is not concerned about the style.
• We should pray when God puts things on our hearts and not pray after we see the outcome.   We need to be thankful in advance.   (John 11:38-44)
• Conclusion.
• The goal of this Bible Study is to conform to the image of Jesus Christ and to live in accordance to the truth of the Bible.   Seize the opportunities in life and get the most profit out of them in spiritually.
• We can have biblical knowledge but we need to apply it and practice it as well.
• Knowing the wealth we possess in Christ should prompt us to walk in the light.   (John 13:17)
• God knows our every thought and deed.   (Psalm 139:1-6)
• Fruits of the Light/Fruits of the Spirit.
• Check for goodness, integrity, righteousness, and truth.
• Testing actions versus words of a person.
• A change has taken place in the person’s life.
• To test ourselves by asking, ‘Is this something Jesus would do?’.
• Asking ourselves how we should live our life tomorrow as there are consequences to our walk and actions.   Because the days are short and the times are evil, we should be using our time wisely.   Every day should be precious.  A person who is 35 years old has approximately 500 days left to live if you subtract the amount of time spent sleeping, working, appointments, eating, and traveling.
• What are our prayers like?   Are there more petitions than gratitude?   Do we only pray when we are desperate?